In amongst the box of Genesis games I added last week was a game I’d never heard of before called Jewel Master. Always up for a new experience, I plugged it in and gave it a try.

At first, I was somewhat unimpressed. This is a side-scrolling, action/adventure game that almost delves into beat-‘em-up territory until you start fiddling with the customizable attack system. The graphics are somewhere between “meh” and “pretty bad” and the animation is very stiff. The music, however, is one of the more outstanding things about this game. It’s got a very prog rock feel to it, and one of the later level’s background music reminded me of Pink Floyd’s “Us and Them” with its ominous, church organ-driven chord progression. Overall, the game is very reminiscent of “Altered Beast,” which makes sense when you consider that this came out relatively early in the Genesis/Mega Drive’s life. “Jewel Master” was released in 1991, and Sega were doing their best to recapture what made “Altered Beast” a success. It’s got a lot of generic, evil-ish looking monsters that re-spawn for plenty of cheap deaths. Annoying? Yes. I almost turned it off halfway through the first level, but then I hit the start button and took a look at the magic rings.

At the very beginning of the game you have 2 rings: Fire 1 and Water 1. The rings range in intensity from level 1 to 3 and there are 4 elements, so the goal is to collect all 12. Don’t worry, there’s no “Heart” ring and combining them doesn’t summon Captain Planet, but it does do something very cool which I’ll get to later. For right now, I’ll just describe the ring system.

You have 2 hands, which is what most people have, and you can wear up to 2 rings on each hand — never mind what the picture on the box shows. By combining them you can unlock new attacks. So, instead of shooting a short blade of fire out of your hand or putting up an ultimately useless barrier “attack,” you can shoot fire balls or water… balls. The Earth rings were almost complete crap — they make earthquakes, which aren’t very effective. The Wind rings, meanwhile, offer personal enhancement such as the ability to run faster, jump higher or double-jump, but without messy consequences like priapism.

As soon as I realized you could combine the rings to unlock cooler attacks, the game became a lot more interesting. Suddenly, I’m switching between ring combos to see what everything does and trying to find the most effective elements to fight each boss. It’s not until you have all 4 level 3 rings, however, that you can unlock the Holy Blade — the ultimate weapon of destruction! One or two hits from this monster will destroy a boss. No contest. In fact, the Holy Blade is the only way you can defeat at least one of the bosses, which is sad because I didn’t realize it even existed. I, uh, kinda skipped past the movie at the beginning which tells you why you are on this quest and what the rings can do when their power is combined.

One last gripe I have with “Jewel Master” is that this is one of those annoying games that never relates the effectiveness of a weapon to the player. The very first boss is impossible to defeat without the right combination of rings, but you’ll never know what the right combination is until you finally do kill it. (It’s the wave attack, by the way.) So good luck with that and your limited continues, Liberace.

If you’d like to give “Jewel Master” a try, I do have 1 copy currently in stock. Please, indulge your ring fetish fantasy. I won’t judge if you wind up wearing capes while playing the piano and lamenting the absence of your brother, George.